Being strong is relative. I can work extended hours each day, manage to drag myself out of bed, and come to office on time the next day. I can raise a toddler who throws tantrums anytime she feels like it, refuses anyone to feed her, and sleeps so late into the night. I can stay in a marriage, which has its own flaws and struggles. And to top it all, I am growing a small human in my body, carrying this precious gift for months, adjusting to all the changes and bearing the pain.
Like I said, being strong is relative. I may look that I can handle all these things and more. But no, I am exhausted. Tired. Extremely upset. Done. In this area, I am not strong. I never was.
You know where my true strength lies? It is when you see me smile, even though feelings of hurt & sadness are welled up inside me. It is when I try to stay calm in moments of despair. It is when I still have faith amidst the disbelief and doubts.
Then I can always look at the alternate truth, or the other side of the coin. Work, no matter how exhausting, eventually gets me the money at the end of each month. The toddler, no matter how spoiled she has become, will ultimately grow up to be my pride and joy. There will always be the friendship and partnership that binds two people in a marriage, no matter the struggles. And of course, the joy of the upcoming newborn is nothing compared to the pain that I am going thru now.
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