Confessions of a confused working mom:

Things to do before reporting to work (after my maternity leave):

I will eat sushi. I will go to a salon to get my hair & nails done.

Sadly, I never got to do any of these things. A huge feeling of guilt comes upon me every time I leave the flat & my children behind. This is why I want to spend each possible free time with them: after-work hours, weekends & holidays. Somehow, I told myself that my children will be enough for me. They will fill in all my longings & needs too.

However, this is not the case. I envy ladies with ‘salon-finished’ hair & nails. I envy friends when they go out for dinner & eat their ‘instagram-worthy’ meals. I envy couples who still make time to go on movie dates. I envy people who get to enjoy their weekends, see other people & still get time to chat/talk with others on social media. 

So what is stopping me from doing all these? I tell you. There is this 2 year old little girl who calls me Mommy. She wakes up each morning with the brightest smile & say: Hello, Mommy! She never leaves my side and follows me anywhere - from the kitchen, to the bedroom, & to the CR! We are inseparable. It is because of her need for me that drives me guilty each time I leave the flat. Yes, I may go out with friends, and yes, I may take a weekend off, but while away, my thoughts will always be on this little girl who I know is waiting for her Mommy to come home. 

Maybe this is just me, or maybe this is just a phase, but all I know right now is I want to try to be always there for my children. They only have one Mommy, I want to stay & be their Mommy for as long as I can.