Musings from a First Time Mom

“Motherhood becomes you, Brinee” said a friend of mine a few days back. This made me muse on the small changes that took place in my life since I gave birth.

·       I hum nursery rhymes while taking a bath. Our baby girl listens to nursery rhymes and lullabies all day long. It is no wonder that the music sticks to my head.

·         I rush home from work. No more overtimes. As soon as we enter the flat, my husband and I blast to the room and eagerly take the baby in our arms. Yes, the stories are true. The little angel in our arms takes away all the weariness and tiredness our desk jobs bring.

·         I smile when I see my daughter’s poop. I could not believe how a small poop can make me so happy. It relieves me to know that our little one is healthy and she is excreting her waste regularly.

·         I visit the baby’s section in the shops first. No more shopping for mommy’s new clothes now. She comes first in my heart. She comes first in my wallet too. (Disclaimer: All purchases subject to daddy’s approval.)

·         I take hundreds and hundreds of baby pictures in my mobile. I have over 1300 pictures now. 90 percent of these are her photos. There is no stopping me from clicking and capturing every moment of her.

I am a  first time mother to a 6-week-old baby girl. Her name is Unica Elyse. She is God’s gift to our lives. I know that there will be more first-time experiences to come. There will be more challenges along the way. I am not going to be the picture-perfect, textbook mother. But I know that I will be the perfect mom for my baby.

“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” - Philippians 4:13

Be uplifted! Read this.

Hello there. Yes, you! I know things are difficult now. Some days just feel impossible and unbearable. Your emotions are erratic. You go through the day confused and lost. You feel alone and isolated from everyone. This is me, reminding you of the following:

Ø  You are not in this alone. The Lord who redeemed the Israelites out of bondage, the Lord who delivered you from all your past troubles is the same God who will bring you out of this darkness. You are secure in His unfailing love. He will get you through this. Place your trust in Him. He never fails on His promises.

Ø  Nothing lasts forever. The pain will recede in time. The fog will be lifted, and everything will be in order soon. Cry, and scream if you want to. Soon, you will not be crying every day. The bitterness in your heart will be replaced with love and understanding. The turmoil in your mind will be replaced with peace. Joy will overflow in your life. Do not rush. You will be healed.

Ø  You are strong. You have been through a lot. You weathered all of them and they have made you stronger now. Seek His strength and His guidance. Wake up with a stronger heart. Go through the day and claim victory. Release forgiveness and love.  

Ø  Every day is a blessing. Look around you. You are surrounded with friends and family who treasure and love you. Seek support from them. Receive encouragement from them. Feel their love, never feel lost. You belong to their hearts.

I bet you never realized how strong you are until today. Cheer up, and take each day at a time. This too shall pass.

 “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”

Postpartum Blues

Postpartum sucks. Big time. The nine months of pregnancy and the excruciating hours of labor were the two difficult phases I had to endure. However, I prepared myself for these - I read a lot and absorbed all information I could get on pregnancy, labor and delivery. But no one prepared me for the crisis that comes after childbirth. I got a crash course in Postpartum 101. It is rough.

I am humbled. I had no idea how to carry a newborn, how to change a diaper, how to bathe a baby, or how to soothe her cries.  Thanking Him for sending my ever-patient mom to take care of the baby, for taking care of my CS wound, and for teaching me the basics on baby-handling/baby-caring.

I still look pregnant. I know I will not lose weight in an instant. But I also did not really expect to look six months pregnant! The doctor said to blame it on my uterus.  They say it will take a little while for me to lose weight. I am taking it easy now - no rigorous exercises. I am taking my time until I can hit the gym or I can start to jog.

I cry. A lot. I was emotionally strong during pregnancy. I never expected to be an emotional wreck after childbirth. There are just so many things that come to my mind and somehow I get affected with these. There is no other remedy but to pray endlessly to Him to grant me His peace- the peace that surpasses all understanding.

I am socially destroyed. Relationships somehow get ruined. Well, to some extent I have to minimize the time with friends – no more weekend-outs, or spur-of-the-moment weekday dates with them, or endless hours of facebook, whatsapp and viber chats. And there is the husband, he will not look at you the same way he did when you first got married. Duh, you gained over 20kgs!

It gets better. I read that sometime soon, the haze will lift and I will eventually figure out most of these troubles. The ordeals I go through now will somehow prepare me for the greater things to come.  The lessons I learn will equip me to become a better mother, wife and friend.  My happy pill amidst all the grief, is my newborn daughter. One look at her, and all my sadness and despair just melt away. One smile from her, gets me through each day. And if I have to go through another postpartum crisis, I would say yes in a heartbeat. She is worth all these struggles. She is worth the pain.

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”